Meditation for the Fully Realised Woman


Meditation for the Fully Realised Woman

I am a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, with a beauty that doesn’t wash off. I earned it, unearthed it, rescued it like a jewel in the dust, picked it up and made it shine. For years, I did not see it, though I sense it was there. Now it dazzles and thrives.

I am healthy, capable, independent, strong yet still so fragile, floored by a sigh. My body is that of a creator… angles meeting curves, hardness drifting into soft.

I am mother, daughter, sister, lover to myself. Embraceable and brave, I extend my heart.

My body is home, my home a shrine to life, comfortable, warm and rich with treasures. Mine is the scent of hot spices caught in a breeze, mine the laughter that wings through the door. I share myself only with those who honor me as I am and protect myself, my house and my time from invaders.

I search for my center in the midst of chaos, practice peace as wild dogs clamor in my mind. I use power for the greater good, release rage in neutral settings, with no one innocent in the line of fire.

I am learning how to persist and when to let go, am willing to feel all emotion stop their depths and exaltations, to wake up in every nerve and no longer am afraid of my life.

Both my beauty and strength transcend age, time and perhaps even this lifetime.

Each day I am new, yet more at home in myself. Moment by moment, I create my world.

~~ Karen Andes ~~
A Women’s Book of Strength:
An Empowering Guide to Total Mind/Body Fitness


Affirmation of the Week


Photograph: Sasha Willmott, taken in India, August 2012


They are wise people who do not grieve
for the things which they have not,
but rejoice for those which they have.
~~ Epictetus ~~

This week’s affirmation isn’t just about material things… the new shiny car, the bigger house, the latest must-have fashions, designer accessories etc even if we could afford them on a regular basis (I’m betting nearly all of us can’t :D)… how many of us think or have thought, we will be happy when we’ve pleased our partners, our parents, our families… when we’ve finished updating or renovating our homes (note, this is coming from someone who lives in a kind of semi-permanent renovation zone!)… when we can afford to do, or to be,or to have… when we have time? On a financial level, on a material level, on a physical level? This can be related to time… looking forward to that one holiday per year, a two week break out of 365 days a year when everything else seems like a hard slog. Yes, it’s wonderful to have a holiday, and yes it is great that it provides motivation and a light at the end of a tunnel so to speak, but to put all that hope into just 14 days out of 365?

The media obviously plays heavily into this with advertising… especially where kids are concerned (and with Christmas coming up soon (yeah yeah I know, but it’s September in less than a week and you know the shops are going to be stocking up, if they haven’t already – watch out for the Christmas ads too) that pester power will come no doubt be coming into its own!!). Giving examples of so-called perfect idylls… yet all it seems to do is reinforce the idea that what we already have isn’t enough, doesn’t come up to scratch… we need more of… well… everything I guess.

For me, this affirmation is a reminder… to stop. Come to a halt. To look around… like I’m sure I’ve said before with these affirmations (and if not, definitely on the Facebook page or Twitter feed), perception is in the eye of the beholder. To change my perception, to look at what already surrounds me, what I have… with new eyes, fresh eyes… and to really appreciate what I see… from the loud and yelling kids (how much better they be loud, laugh and yell than be quiet and withdrawn and unhappy)… to peace and quiet alone time, for the food that we eat, for the roof over our heads, for the fact that we have someone to talk to, even if it’s only via email… for friends to spend time with, for partners who cuddle us… for someone being there… for our health, for the chance to live on this plane, on this planet, to learn… for our senses of sight, smell, touch, hearing, our bodies… for being our own person… for the choices that we can and do make… and everything else that you can think of!

To live, to laugh… to LOVE… what wonderful gifts we already have… if we but choose to see them 🙂

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead ♥

© 2012 Michelle Payne

Survivor Psalm


Survivor Psalm

I have been victimized.
I was in a fight that was
not a fair fight.
I did not ask for the fight.
I lost.
There is no shame in losing
such fights.
I have reached the stage of
survivor and am no longer a
slave of victim status.
I look back with sadness
rather than hate.
I look forward with hope
rather than despair.
I may never forget, but I need
not constantly remember.
was a victim.
am a survivor.

© Frank Ochberg, MD & Gift from Within

Affirmation of the Week



Over the past few years I’ve had many lessons and tests in confrontation in that I’ve needed to learn how to deal with them instead of just wanting to go and hide under a table!  In fact, some of them are still ongoing! I was actually going to talk about how this is all connected to standing up for myself, but realised that certain events had been directed in a more specific manner, after all standing up for one’s self can be done in a manner of different ways other than vocalisation.

Speaking up. Vocalising. Putting actions, thoughts and/or emotions into words. And then actually letting them come out of your mouth. This is something I’ve always had a hard time doing. Much much easier to put thoughts onto paper, and then edit, re-read, and edit again before eventually sending off the final version. That way you get time to think, to hone and look at how your words may be interpreted from a more detached perspective. And much harder when you don’t have that time and space when words are being vocalised and someone else is opposite you listening and maybe not understanding you.

There can be many reasons why people find vocalisation hard… nervousness, unwanted blushing, stuttering and stammering, lack of coherence about what they want to talk about, worrying about how they might be perceived or how their words may be taken, being rejected, being judged or even avoidance of responsbility.

However, there can come a point when we know that something isn’t quite right and even if it’s hard to put into words, that gut feeling tells you that you just have to do something about it. And if it’s hard to put into words then it is likely to be even harder to get your point, feelings and specific meaning across to the other person. And for me, once you know you have to do something… and actually go to do it… then there’s the responsibility bit. Because words do have power. Saying words out loud is an action all of it’s own… and will then, just like the ripples on a pond… cause a reaction. Which means we have to look to our inner core, trust that we are saying the right thing (for us) for the right reasons… and be as open as we can on the matter… and ultimately, then take the responsibility for whatever happens as a result.

That responsibility… or “consequences”… is one of the things that has held me back in the past, for many different reasons… emanating from many different experiences over a long period of time… but one thing I have learnt (which, of course, doesn’t mean to say it will hold true for others)… is that when I speak up for myself, speak my truth… then not only am I being authentic… I am also being pro-active… and I’m also releasing fear, worry and a burden that I’d been carrying.

I hope that if others find speaking up scary, difficult or hard… that they may be able to look within themselves and find out the reason why… and then help themselves to stand up for themselves in this way. With practice, with love and with authenticity. Baby step by baby step.

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead ♥

© 2012 Michelle Payne

On Letting Go


On Letting Go

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring.

It means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off.
It’s the realization that I can’t control another.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another.
It’s to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.

To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is to fear less and to love more.

~~ author unknown ~~
(found via Living Life Fully)

© 2012 Michelle Payne

Affirmation of the Week



Welcome to another Monday and another affirmation. Hopefully you’ve had a good weekend and have lots to look forward to this week, including recognising all those wonderful bits that make up YOU 🙂

Yes, you read that right. I am a miracle. Well I am… and so are you. So is every single person that is walking on this planet. We live, we breathe, we exist… we not only complete many different actions throughout each day, but they are accompanied by thoughts, feelings and words… affecting each other and rippling out into the Universe. And then there’s all the different functions that our physical bodies do on a minute by minute and second by second basis! That alone is a miracle without factoring in the complex thought and emotional responses that are connected to the body alone. Then there’s the personal growth and lessons that we all go through as we get older, the experiences (and hopefully wisdom) we gain. All within that one body that you call home!

Yet, how many people own that? Believe that about themselves? I have yet to meet anyone who does… all too often we put ourselves down and don’t recognise the fact that we are indeed, a walking, talking miracle (OK, now I’ve got that  song in my head “Living Doll” by Cliff Richard *eek*).

Here’s a wonderful excerpt that Living Life Fully had on one of their past weekly ezines… enjoy!

With Love. . . Leo
Leo Buscaglia

Tonight I would like to talk to you about something really important to me. I’m constantly meeting people and working with people. And I’m becoming so very concerned because the people I meet are so wonderful and so beautiful, and yet they are afraid to show their wonder and show their beauty. They are in constant doubt about being beautiful and wonderful. If there is to be any hope for us as lovers, we’ve got to make sure to express this love and this caring and bring it out into the open and not be afraid.

So tonight, I would like to talk to those people who aren’t sure yet and are a little bit reticent about being all that they are.

It’s amazing–you may not realize it, but so much of what you are not is because you are literally standing in your own way of becoming. And what I’m going to talk to you about tonight is, get the hell out of your way! Fly, because it’s all available to you! And all you have to do is take the responsibility and do it. But so many people don’t trust themselves. They don’t even like themselves.

I was in the office recently–many of you know that I have a lot of things in my classes that are voluntarily mandatory. And one of the things that is voluntarily mandatory is that everybody come to visit me. Now, that isn’t asking too much, and I get frightened people who com in all trembling.

I had this lovely girl who sat across from me, and I said, “Tell me about yourself. We’re going to be together for 16 weeks in classes, and I don’t want you to be a stranger. You tell me about you, and then I’ll take over and tell you about me.”

And she said, “I don’t have anything to say.”

I said, “What do you mean? Tell me about all your wonder.”

She said, “Wonder?!” And then there was a long pause, and she said, “Well, I’m too short.”

That had never occurred to me until she told me. And then I thought, well, I’ll counteract with something good. I said, “Yes, but you’re a darn good student. Do you know that you got an A on your mid-term?”

And she said, “Sheer luck.”

How do you like that?

I said, “But you know that you’re unique in all the world. . . .”

“Not me. I’m not unique,” she said. “And besides, I’m not very good-looking, and not a lot of people seek me out. And I’m lonely a lot of the time.”

It occurred to me that if she really believes that she’s short and ugly and stupid and has nothing to contribute, why would anybody seek her out? Oh, did I work on that one!

When she walked out, she was four inches taller. And if I ever see her lean over again, there’s going to be hell to pay.

Jack Parr says a wonderful thing. He says, “My life seems like one long obstacle course, with me as the chief obstacle.”

Isn’t that great?

I always love to mention the book Souls on Fire by Elie Wiesel. It’s a beautiful book, and he makes a statement I really love. He says that when you die and you go to meet your Maker, you’re not going to be asked why you didn’t become a messiah or find a cure for cancer. All you’re going to be asked is, why didn’t you become you? Why didn’t you become all that you are?

There are no two people in this audience who are alike. Isn’t that a message to tell you–that you are unique and you have something to say? And isn’t it a message that you have a right to say it before you leave the face of the earth?

How often have you heard yourself say, “I’m nothing”? You’re nothing if you think you’re nothing. . . .

You are a miracle. You have something to share that nobody else in the world has. To keep that hidden because of self-defeating ideas is to die less than you are. Don’t let that happen. Your greatest responsibility is to become everything that you are, not only for your benefit but for mine.”

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead ♥

© 2012 Michelle Payne

Living Life Fully’s website can be found here

Handbook 2010


I’m not in the habit of sending round lots of emails these days (Facebook takes care of that *grin*)… however I had this saved and thought I’d share it here because I find that most of the items on the list can be applied to our everyday lives.  What do you think?


1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Take time to pray and read your Bible daily.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. ake a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

11. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t over do it. Keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything..
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of  6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.   Your friends will.   Stay in touch.

32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy. 

Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.

~~ Author unknown ~~

© 2012 Michelle Payne

Affirmation of the Week



Tiredness… it’s something I battle, will push through, work through… because there never seems enough time in the day to get everything done so I am making a conscious choice this week to get more sleep!

But why should this be a gift? I’ve often thought about this on the way to work while I doze on the train… why should sleep be a gift? It’s something we do every day, it’s absolutely necessary in order that we can live… so how and why should we phrase it as a gift?

I think that in today’s society which is so fast-paced, technology aware, everything has to be now, now now… instant gratification, instant communications, instant information… this all leads to to stress and pressure, and sleep is one of the first things to go when we have deadlines to meet.

I also figure that potentially part of this may even go back to childhood… I presume I wasn’t the only one… but I remember being sent to bed as a punishment, being allowed to stay up late as a treat… retreating to the bedroom to read a book so as not to get into trouble… and this kinda makes me think now that sleep ended up falling into the subconscious territory of “bad”, of a place to be avoided. Anyone else agree?

Yet I need my sleep, love my sleep, hate getting up early in the morning… each week I *intend* to get into a regular routine of going to bed at a certain time so as to get at least 7 hours sleep (I generally need 8 per night but on weekends can sleep for longer)… but does this actually happen? Heck, no! Why not? Well each evening there is always one little job that needs doing, one email that needs reading… nothing actually that can’t wait until the next day… yet I do these things at the expense of sleep by postponing it.

Sleep… so many benefits… here are a few:

improved concentration
memory formation
repairing damage done to the body’s cells during the day
keeps your heart healthy
may prevent cancer
reduces stress
reduces inflammation
makes you more alert
bolsters memory
helps to lose weight
makes you smarter
reduces risk for depression
it makes you a nicer person

I found this site (among many others) through Google, in case anyone wants to look up more information:

I have to say not only do I agree with the above list but can also identify with the nicer person one *grin*, lack of sleep makes for a very grumpy person… so this week I WILL achieve this, I choose to achieve this… and hopefully some of these benefits won’t be too far behind!

Anyone else joining in?

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead ♥

© 2012 Michelle Payne

Picture by Josephine Wall

A Cuppa and an Armchair


One thing I am looking to do is read and then review books that relate to either self-help and/or within the educational remit of mental health. This has a two-fold benefit for me personally: increasing my awareness and education especially as I plan to not only continue my formal education but apply that to how I am able to help clients.  And then of course, hopefully a review will help to give others food for thought when considering which books may be of use to them!

After saying all of that, the first book I’m posting about is a work of fiction!

I’m including it here because I actually wrote one of the short stories and felt very honoured to be included in it.  The book was created as a result of a collaborative effort via Facebook… a friend had shared a link to their page and I thought I’d “whip something up” on the spur of the moment, especially as it was to be short (under 2000 words).  I’d like to think that the quality is of a high standard (since I’m connected to it) and I do believe it will appeal to a varied cross-section of readers due to the differing styles of writing.

I would also state that none of the authors got paid to do this, nor do we get any royalties.  This book was created as a charitable effort, specifically for an organisation called Equipe.  As stated:

“A Cuppa and an Armchair is a collaborative venture joining writers, artists and the charity Equipe, in a bid to raise much-needed funds. Equipe is an international charity working into East Africa, India, Papua New Guinea and The Philippines. Its mission is to enable and empower local people to break the cycle of poverty through education, sustainable infrastructure.”

If you’re interested in purchasing the book (personally I’d recommend the download version due to cost and ease of access), please click here to be taken to my Amazon astore links.

If you’d like to read the Facebook page for this venture (they do plan more books), please click here and if you’d like to visit Equipe’s website to see the kind of work that they do, please click here.  I will be adding their details to the Charitable Organisations page on this website.

This item has also been added to My Products page, the link to which is on my Resources page.

© 2012 Michelle Payne

A Dog’s Purpose: From a 6-year-old’s perspective


A poignant story that has been doing the rounds via email, the moral of which we can apply to our own lives!

A Dog’s Purpose:  From a 6-year-old’s perspective

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.  Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The Six-year-old continued,

”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.


~~ Author unknown ~~

© 2012 Michelle Payne

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