“I GIVE MY SELF AND MY PARTNER SPACE”
Quite some time ago I was reading “Your Sacred Self – making the decision to be free” by Wayne Dyer and then synchronistically came across this quote by him:
Solitude can become your most meaningful companion
and it can assist you in being a more giving person
in your spiritual partnerships. Rather than regarding your
partner’s need for time alone as a threat, see it as a time of renewal
that you celebrate. Make every effort to help each other
have that space. Treat that space as sacred.
~~ Wayne Dyer ~~
When I first read this, my instinctive reaction was that I wondered why someone would need alone time, I certainly never thought I did! Cue several years down the path of learning about the self and I had to take those automatic words back for they were a defence mechanism that then still needed to be watched.
We are all individuals first and foremost, I believe we come to relationships to learn and this is where we have to compromise… and as a result, often our own needs can be left somewhat unfulfilled. By taking time out, being on our own, we renew our most primary relationship… that with our own self. It can also be the time when we think things through (rather than arguing), when we can get little jobs done just for ourselves, where we can sit, we can just be. The majority of people reading this will probably say that they don’t have enough time, that time and space for your self is a luxury… but if we don’t look after ourselves, then how can we even expect to have any energy or enthusiasm left to give to others, especially our families, which although we love dearly… can be very very draining!
If we feel or believe we need these things for our selves… it’s not a stretch of the imagination to realise our partners will most likely need exactly the same thing. And even if we don’t, they might. We all deserve our own *me time*… so who can you help achieve that?
If you feel that you don’t need space and/or can’t understand why your partner would need space from you (because of course, let’s face it, we are all wonderful, charismatic, loving creatures aren’t we *grin*… who would need space from us!!!)… I would ask you… why do you feel this way? And just what are your parameters for space? What you think this *space* actually means? And what are your motivations for it too!
We all have different thoughts on this I’m sure, and our parameters are relevant and important to us… but are they relevant to your partner? If you are both sitting on a see-saw, is it balanced? And if not, why not? Which would then lead to more questions…
Why do you hold on so tight or run away demanding a continent of space?
Do you cling or do you in fact run in the opposite direction?
What is the worst that would happen if you gave someone space?
Is your need for either… fear-based… (both to hold on or to have too much space)?
How much space is enough *space*?
What does your space give you?
What does space give your partner?
This week I am going to give myself some space, from stressing about work, from little jobs that I should be doing… space from responsibility… I am going to take a few minutes out of each day just to do… nothing probably *grin*… and will make sure to enjoy every second of it!
Wishing you a wonderful week ahead ♥
© 2012 Michelle Payne