The Communication Principle

30/01/2013

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The Communication Principle

The communication principle is, “Be clear, concise, open, and honest.”

Communication is an art. I have seen some great communicators at work. These are some of the lessons I have learned:

Let others talk.

Avoid arguments.

Don’t complain.

Give honest and sincere compliments.

Be more ready to compliment than to criticize.

Invite input.

Make a point to remember people’s names; it is music to their ears.

Never be afraid to seek advice.

Never criticize someone in front of other people.

Be aware of other people’s desires.

Find joy and pleasure through taking an interest in people.

Talk about yourself only if asked.

Smile–it is contagious and opens people’s hearts.

Learn to listen.

Remember people’s birthdays and anniversaries–it shows you care.

Encourage people to share about themselves.

Engage people where they are–talk in relation to their interests.

Help other people to discover their uniqueness, to feel special and important, without patronizing them.

Respect other people’s opinions.

Admit when you are wrong.

Be kind and friendly to every person you meet.

Ask questions people respond to positively.

Encourage other people in their dreams–particularly children.

Try to see it from the other person’s point of view.

Hold up ideals.

Challenge people gently.

Talk about your own failures.

Appeal to higher motives.

Always look for yourself in others and others in yourself–it affirms the oneness of the human family.

Affirm the highest values of the human spirit.

Never pass up an opportunity to speak a kind word of appreciation. There are six billion people on the planet, and 5.9 billion of them go to bed every night starving for one honest word of appreciation.

~ Matthew Kelly ~

Image origin: unknown, found circulating on Facebook


Affirmation of the Week

28/01/2013

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“MY LIFE HAS MEANING”

I was actually planning on doing a lighthearted affirmation this week… but several events led to me recalling a conversation I had some time ago, during which someone actually said to me they worried that I was wasting my life (seriously, can you believe that someone who doesn’t know the *real* you would have the audacity and arrogance to say such a thing!) and that led me to musing over how people in general place meaning on others’ lives through their own perceptions.

I believe that this in part is down to self-esteem, as are most things in life… if we have low self-esteem how can we believe we are worth anything, that our lives mean anything… that we contribute anything… and so the vicious circle perpetuates itself. People then project this onto others because, at the end of the day… let’s face it… who wants to think that they are *Billy No-Mates* with a severe attitude problem to boot?

My life has meaning to me… and to those closest to me… my self-esteem is high… yet whenever we are going through a spiritual lesson, at the end of that cycle comes a test!… and I believe that that is what happened to me on that day… I was given such a test. Do I really think that this person is right? That I am wasting my life? No I don’t. I think I contribute quite a lot to others’ lives, hopefully in a very beneficial and positive way. I hope that I help others.. and I know that I am much more content with my inner self, my life… and also how that will ripple out into the future. Just because my life and my views are different to others makes no difference to whether it has more or less meaning.

I wonder how many people who read this blog have gone through a similar thing, have wondered what meaning they have by being here… how much they give and are accepted for who they are, for the real person that is not just the different facets that are shown to others, but that very essence which resides deep within, our spirit or soul if you will (depending on your personal spiritual beliefs)…

I hope that no-one feels that their lives don’t have meaning, because every single one of us has something special to give if we can but see it… and that’s our love, our Spirit… which we can give without attachment or expectation of return… we are all unique, we all contribute… and we all have meaning.

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead ♥

Image origin: Unfortunately unknown, would love to find more of this person’s art, so if you recognise it, please do let me know!

© 2013 Michelle Payne


Song of the Week

27/01/2013

Dan Shears & The Velveteen Orkestra – In The Shadows of Better Men


Me-iaow

23/01/2013

I receive the PDSA’s quarterly magazine as they are one of the charities I support, and had to grin when reading this article because it just goes to show, humans are “owned” by cats *grin*!

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Me-iaow

In a testament to feline adaptability and ingenuity, cats, it appears, have hit upon a surefire method for getting what they want: sound like a baby. Inspired in part by the early morning mewing of her own cat, Pepo, Dr Karen McComb led a research project at Sussex University into the pitch and tone of various purrs and identified one particular vocalisation that owners find almost impossible to ignore. Woven into the low, gravelly throatiness of a normal purr is a sharp cry, the frequency of which is attuned to that of a human infant. Its plaintive dissonance grates upon the ear so insistently that the beleaguered owner, even while comfortably ensconsed in bed at some unearthly dawn hour, is invariably compelled to trek to the kitchen and to fill the empty food bowl in order to quell the annoyance. Recordings of the ‘soliciting’ purr were played to groups of cat and non-cat owners. In both cases the Sussex researchers found that the human response was the same: the pestering purr, with its piercing shrill whine, was deemed urgent, unpleasant and demanding of action – the opening of a tin of tuna – if only to silence it. What makes the soliciting purr irritating is its embedded high frequency. Cats create the usual low frequency feline purr by a gentle tightening of the vocal cords, yet subtle alterations in their vocable mechanisms mean that they are also able to lock and bury within its burr a high-pitched cry. Presumably having learnt that by liberating and exaggerating this cry humans can be coerced into bending their wills to the wishes of their pets, cats now regularly employ the tactic whenever they feel a little peckish or in want of attention. Tapping in to our instinctive urge to be attentive to the needs of a baby, cats have become the masters and mistresses of their owners.

From: PDSA Magazine, Issue 51

Image origin: unknown, found circulating on Facebook


Affirmation of the Week

21/01/2013

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“TODAY I TAKE MY SNOW MINUTES”

 I read, quite some time ago, a daily message on the DailyOm website about scheduling a mini escape… ie: taking a Snow Day. Now… I’d never heard that expression before… I’ve heard of duvet day, chill out day… spa day, relaxing day even, but no Snow Day. I’m assuming it got its name due to people wanting to stay at home snuggled up when it’s cold and snowy outside… and since it’s actually snowing outside at the time of drafting this Affirmation, I figured it’s perfect timing 😉

For those that get to enjoy a day at home this Monday due to the weather, enjoy… as I will be donning the wellies, leaving the car and home and walking it to the train station both morning and night! However, if we look to this affirmation in a broader sense… why not take some “snow time” each and every day. I can almost hear the vast and deep intake of breath at that… for after all, isn’t our time stretched enough each day already? Don’t we have more than enough tasks, actions and even thoughts to deal with, without adding something else to our ever-growing daily list?

But think about it… each day we try and fit as much in as possible… and when it’s not possible and things get left undone… we usually sacrifice any quiet time, meditation time, me time… sleep time!… to achieve what we *think* we need to get done.

How much on your list… whether it be a physical or mental list… is actually a necessity… and how much a *should*?

Here’s what I’m proposing… let’s take 10… yes TEN… small minutes out of each day… to sit, to be still… or to do absolutely anything you want to do… with two small conditions *wink*… the first, that it makes you feel good… and secondly… that this is for you alone… not your partner, your kids, your parents, your work, your pets, your house, your finances or anything like that… but… just… for… you!

Ten minutes isn’t very long is it… especially out of a 24 hour period… and yet, you may think… what can I achieve in 10 minutes? Maybe it won’t feel like a lot to start with… but… how quickly do you think you may start looking forward to those 10 minutes each day… it could be reading, writing… a foot scrub… eating cookies lying in front of a fire (OK so I had to mention food… apologies to any who have diet resolutions *grin*)… 10 minutes peace and quiet with everyone barred from contacting you while you soak in a scented bath… a facial steam… a walk in the garden… standing at your back door and just looking up at the stars (a friend loves doing that one)… anything is possible… and 10 minutes could very well be the first baby steps you take to finding something new to enjoy in your life… it doesn’t seem a very high price at all when you think of it like that, does it 🙂

Affirmation questions to consider for this week are:

What would you like to spend 10 minutes a day on?
How do you feel when you think of those 10 minutes?
What do you believe is stopping you from taking those 10 minutes?
What do you think those 10 minutes may bring into your life?

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead ♥

Image origin: Unknown

© 2013 Michelle Payne


Song of the Week

20/01/2013

Sara Melson – Happy Endings


Victim Support – Finding the Strength

19/01/2013

I’ve previously mentioned about listing (and blogging) about charitable organisations.  Today’s is the second such organisation, and one that’s based in the United Kingdom.

Victim Support is an independent charity that has been set up to help victims of crime, and that those witness crime in England and Wales, and according to their website, are the oldest and largest victim’s organisation in the world.  They are a charity and work with the Police as well as running the Witness Service (which is apparently in every court – I have no experience of this having thankfully never had to visit Court so far in my life!) and Victim Supportline (0845 30 30 900) which is a national telephone helpline.

They can provide emotional support (not counselling – the difference is explained on their website, and they can refer victims on to other relevant organisations which do offer counselling help), information and practical help

Taking this straight from their website, they believe that all victims of crime have five basic rights:

*** to receive respect, recognition and support

*** to get information and an explanation about the progress of their case. Victims should also have the chance to explain the financial, physical and emotional effects of the crime and this information should be considered whenever decisions are made about their case

*** to be protected in any way necessary

*** to receive compensation

*** to be free of the burden of decisions relating to the offender. In other words, we believe that the state is responsible for dealing with the offender. It should not be the victim’s responsibility.

They also have Facebook, Twitter and Youtube accounts should you wish to interact with the organisation on social media sites.  I do follow them on Twitter and retweet posts because a lot of people, even in this social media “savvy” age, seem to be unaware of the work that they do and that may be available to them as a victim of crime.

As with any charitable organisation, funding is hard to come by so help in that arena is always appreciated and they also offer volunteer opportunities, should anyone be looking to either help others on this basis, with specific training given to those who are selected. 

Please visit their website here for much more indepth information that may either be of help to you, or someone you know!  And if you are already a member, please do share with us your thoughts on the organisation, and if you choose to join, let us know why 🙂

The Scottish website can be found here, the Northern Ireland website here, and the Crime Victim Helpline for those in Ireland (telephone: 116 006) can be found here.

All website links have been added to the Resource section of this website.

Namaste

© 2013 Michelle Payne


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